Is Rusty Still In The Navy?

This is the story of how once my stepdad was responsible for cooking dinner, he made rice, Hubcap's head nearly exploded and none of our lives have been the same ever since.

That is the entire story in a nut shell. The following are the accurate details. Hubcap will tell you that these details are not accurate. She is wrong. I was there. I saw the fire come out of her mouth with my own eyes.

Hubcap had to work late one night so she called to tell Frank to make tacos for dinner and feed us before she got home. Friends of mine, and possibly my brother's, were over and there was only 1 pound of ground beef with which to make the tacos. Rather than tell the extra people that they couldn't eat over, Frank used rice as a "filler" so there would be enough for everyone.

We ate our tacos and the Earth kept spinning.

Then Hubcap came home and the world nearly ended.

Hubcap took one look at the ground beef / rice mixture and came unglued. There was cabinet slamming. There was yelling at Frank - what would make him think that mixing rice and beef together was acceptable? Why on Earth was he trying to make her eat it? He wanted her to eat rice? Rice? RICE?!? "I MAKE TOO MUCH MONEY TO EAT RICE," she announced.

She fed the beef & rice to the dogs and went to bed.

Although we were all hiding, attempting to avoid the rice fury, we all heard; we heard the proclamation that, Hubcap makes too much money to eat rice. We took note.

If you ask Hubcap, she will tell you that that's not what happened. She will tell you that she calmly explained that she doesn't care for rice and therefore was politley choosing not to eat the tacos. None of that is true. Her head actually spun around and fire came out of her nostrils. In fairness, she had been at work for God knows how many hours before coming home and having to face something as infuriating as rice.

Since then, whenever we all go out to eat and the waiter unknowingly asks what Hubcap would like as a side, "mashed potato, baked potato, french fries, or rice?", someone will jump in and explain that "Oh, no no, she makes too much money to eat rice."