When I was in high school I worked at the Spring Lake Bath & Tennis Club. This club was in fact even more stuck up and snooty than you're imagining. The club is only open from Memorial Day through Labor Day and consists of a slew of tennis courts, two swimming pools and a stretch of private beach complete with a private access tunnel that goes under the street.
The town of Spring Lake, New Jersey is full of houses that are larger than most towns and are used primarily as summer homes. I believe the people who own those homes also own their own countries where they live in the winter.
I waitressed for five summers, serving lunch and dinner, at the good old B&T. Some of the people were very nice. Some of the people were direct descendants of Satan himself. When these people came in the wait staff would literally stand in the back and draw straws to determine who had to serve them. Oftentimes money was exchanged and bribes were executed just to get out of serving these members.
There was one lady I remember in particular. I don't remember if she was particularly nice or not but I do remember that whenever she ordered salad she would order it with balsmatic dressing.
BALS. MATIC.
And she was serious. She meant balsamic but she said balsmatic. Every time. No one she was eating with ever corrected her and neither did any of the wait staff.
And that is how I learned that having money doesn't make you smart.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
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I eat balsamic on a salad about three times a week, and I think I'll always hear the word "balsmatic" in my head now. It sounds like some kind of machine. A gross one.
Oh that is so my new way of ordering balsamic. Hilarious. What an eccentric nutcase probably.
I have a friend who is very smart and mostly articulate, but there are some words that she routinely cannot pronounce. It's like a tick or something. Her husband begged her not to read to the kids.
I wonder how many irate male waitstaff thought, in their heads, "I'll give you some balsmatic dressing, you be-otch!"
Balsmatic...yeah, that sounds like a mispronunciation that could take on a life of it's own...
I am reminded every day that having money doesn't make you smart. I am reminded so strongly it's like having an ax driven into my head and this is why I am quitting this job and starting a new one on Monday.....where the people are smart.
Wow, balsmatic-now that sounds tasty!
LOL!! That reminds me of this time some while ago where I was standing in line at a grocery store behind this snobby rich woman who was being a bitch to the checkout girl, so I made a little innocent joke designed to relieve the pressure on the teenage girl trying to earn minimum wage and the woman turns to me and says, "Sir, that is a mute point." And I can't believe I did it, but I responded without laughing (normal I cannot), saying "no, no, I said that out loud." The woman looked at me like I was an idiot and just shook her head as I smiled at her. A couple of minutes passed and just when she was about to leave I said "oh, wait! You meant MOOT point... that's different... Yes, that was a moot point, I meant it only as a joke." The woman looked at me like I was the craziest jerk on the planet - which is what I was shooting for. C:)
craig andrew ~ that's a great story. Good for you!
Oh my gosh. That is hilarious. That would have driven me crazy.
Mispronounced words always crack me up.
My son recently had one for jalapeno peppers. He called them japaleenos with an English 'j' sound.
Maybe he, too is destined for wealth.
Balls!
I'm glad that having money doesn't make you smart. 'Cuz I don't have much. I know money doesn't make you nice, either.
I just stumbled across your blog. And I am at work, in tears, laughing so hard. You are... so funny. I will be tuned in daily. Thank you goodbye.
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